Irmaa sat alone at a corner table in the kind of restaurant where the silverware had weight and the waiters moved like well trained ghosts. A single glass of Sancerre caught the light, throwing a pale shimmer across the white tablecloth. She liked that — the quiet glow, the sense that even photons paused to admire her.
Her simple but elegant hairstyle, with a few intentional strands of silver, framed a face that could shift from stern to playful in a heartbeat. Tonight it hovered somewhere in between. She tapped a manicured finger against the stem of her glass, scanning the room with the calm confidence of someone who knew she brought in more revenue than most small nations.
The maître d’ approached with a deferential smile. “Will anyone be joining you this evening, Ms. Irmaa?”
She returned the smile, subtle and knowing. “Oh, people join me every year,” she said, “but never at the same table.”
So who is Irmaa?
My significant other girlfriend knows one of my life philosophies is "You can only have one Honey." When I am watching TV or a movie, and a character who already has a partner starts looking for a second partner, I predict bad things will happen. Male or female, straight or gay, it doesn't matter. "You can only have one Honey."
And true to my philosophy, I have, reluctantly, added Irmaa to my life, and bad things have happened. Sigh.
IRMAA stands for Income-Related Monthly Adjustment Amount. It is a surcharge directly deducted from your Social Security check, and added to Medicare Part B and Part D premiums for beneficiaries with higher incomes. IRMAA generates tens of billions of dollars each year. IRMAA premiums are slated to rise 30 percent from 2026 to 2030, according to the 2025 Medicare Trustees Report. In comparison the Social Security cost of living adjustment was set at 2.8 percent for 2026. See IRMAA.
My IRMAA surcharge is quite large relative to my standard Medicare premium.
If you imagine IRMAA as a single individual collecting all those surcharges herself, she’d be pulling in revenue on the scale of tech billionaires. IRMAA as a person would be staggeringly wealthy.
I think of her as a girlfrind named Irmaa. I am one of those who pays for her extravagant lifestyle. She takes and takes, and does not give much back.
Irma (single a) is a quite uncommon name nowadays. Irma is currently #2609 in U.S. births according to The Bump's Data. The World Meteorological Organization retired Irma as an Atlantic hurricane name after its disasterous 2017 hurricane, feeling the future use of the name would be insensitive.
. Meanwhile Irma calmly enjoys her expensive meals, confidently knowing over 5 million Medicare beneficiaries - men and women - support her lifestyle.
(Photo from Google Gemini, description of Irmaa in consultation with Microsoft Copilot.)
